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History Lesson

Have  you  ever  wondered where the phrase, "You gotta be shittin' me!" came from?

Well,  it  just so happens to have originated through the Father of our Country way back when, George Washington was crossing the
Delaware River  with  his  troops.  There   were  33 [remember this number] in Washington's  boat.  It  was  extremely dark and storming
furiously and the water was tossing them about.

 Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He
ordered him to  keep  swinging  it, so they could see where they were heading.

Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and  his  lantern  into  the Delaware. Washington and his
troops searched  for  nearly  an  hour  trying  to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had
been one of their favorites.

Sometime   later,  Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told
them that they must go on. Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights ahead."

They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What they didn't  know,  was  that  this  was a house of ill repute
hidden in the forest to serve all who came.

General   Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The  door  swung  open,  and much to his surprise stood a
beautiful woman.  A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.

Washington  was  the first to speak, "Madam, I am General George  Washington  and  these  are  my  men.  We are tired, wet,
exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort."

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad   smile  on her face, said, "Well, General, you have
come to the right  place.  We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?"

Washington   replied,  "Well,  madam,  there  are 32 of us without Peters."

And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me!"

Golf Story
Last winter Fred met a woman while on vacation in the Keys and fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner at the Ocean View and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship.
"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut," Fred said to his lady friend. "I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that's a problem, you'd better say so now."
"Well, if we're being honest with each other, here goes," she replied. "I'm a hooker." "I see," Fred replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.  After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.  The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "arthritis."

The Republicans should back off and let men marry men,   women marry women, and totally legalize abortion.  In three generations there will be no Democrats!

An American visits France

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a  tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready"
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any f**cking Frenchmen to show it to."

BLIND CLERK AT WALMART:

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandsons birthday.She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE AREN'T:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.

9. Mind if I use your laptop?

8. Just stick it in my box.

7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!

6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!

5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!

4 My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.

3. It's an entry level position.

2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn't:

1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

A young Black man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job."

The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes, and the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays trips. The salary package is $200,000 a year."

The Black man said, "You're bullshitting me man!"

The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"

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Life's mysteries ... part 1

Q. What's the definition of "virginity?"

A. A big issue over a little tissue.

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!

Q. What do you do when your Kotex catches fire?

A. Throw it on the floor and tampon it.

Q. How are women like screen doors?

A. Once they get banged a few times they loosen up.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?

A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Q. Why don't women need driver's licenses?

A. There's no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Q. Did you hear about the confused Canadian Mountie?

A. He jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.

Q. What do rednecks do for Halloween?

A. Pump kin.

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?

A. More head room.

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The Darwins are awarded every year to the persons who died (or almost died) in the stupidest way. Named Darwin Awards because it is hoped that "Survival of the Fittest" means something.

This year's nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

Nominee No. 6: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 7: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gun powder ignited.

Nominee No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

Finally, Nominee No. 9, The Winner!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the testicle. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.

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FAMOUS SEX QUOTES

Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural wholesome things that money can buy."

Steve Martin: "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

Drew Carey: "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."

Woody Allen: "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

Rodney Dangerfield: "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."

Rodney Dangerfield: "My wife said she'd like to have sex in the back seat of the car... and she wanted me to drive."

George Burns: "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

George Burns: "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

Lynn Lavner: "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women -- among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."

Harvey Korman: "Using Viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building."

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Might as well start with Aries....

ARIES

You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

GEMINI

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply your aneurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themselves to win a bet.

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money.You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO

The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

VIRGO

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.

SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred c*nt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

AQUARIUS

You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

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The boss of a small company called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the employer, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest, whose theme was "Viagra advertising slogans."

Dividing into 10 groups of three, the only rule was they had to use past ad slogans that captured the essence of Viagra. About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions, and created a "Top Ten List." After all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

10. Viagra, It's "WhaazzzzzUp!"

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there

tonight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a woman, but made for a man.

3. Viagra, Tastes great ... More filling!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?

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A man and his wife were enjoying a leisurely day at the beach near Cape Canaveral. As they were swimming in the surf a shark suddenly appeared out of nowhere, grabbed the wife and took her under. The husband scrambled to shore and called the lifeguards but there was no trace of his wife.

The following day the husband answered the motel door and was greeted by two grim-faced policemen.
"We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Smith, but we have some information about your wife."
"Well, tell me!" the man said.
The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you
want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Smith said, "Give me the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body about 2 miles offshore."
"Oh my god! said Mr. Smith, overcome by emotion. Remembering what the cop had said, he asked, "So what's the good news?"
"Well," said the cop, "when we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a half dozen good size stone crabs on her."
"If that's the good news, then what's the great news?" he asked.
And the cop replied: "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!"

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Top 20 ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"

20) The cucumber has left the salad.

19) I can see the gun of Navarone.

18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17) You've got Windows in your laptop.

16) Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

15) Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13) Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9) Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!

7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!

5) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2) I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...

Sleeping At Your Desk

Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

10."They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9."This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time."

7. "I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken."

2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."

And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and tied his wife to the bed. He got on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly he got up and left the room.

As soon as possible the husband made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it!. Be strong and I love you.".

After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear, I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck... He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you too."

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They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat.

It read:Sir,

Sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside there was a pearl worth $ 50,000.

Please advise.

The old man faxed back:

NOMINEE No. 1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No. 2 [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, a mechanic of Alamo, MI was killed as he was trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that they could ascertain the source of the troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone, but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer, demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper, crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

NOMINEE No. 5: Michael Anderson Godwin made news posthumously. He spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair for a murder conviction before successfully having his sentence reduced to life imprisonment. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small T.V. set, he bit a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion. A Jay County man, using a lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed when the weapon discharged in his face.

Sheriff investigators said Gregory David Pryor died in his parents' Rural Dunkirk home while cleaning a 54-calibermuzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No. 7: [AP, St. Louis]: Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently behaving in a disorderly fashion in a St. Louis market, when the clerk threatened to call the police. Pueblo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police found him unconscious i n front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat after he had choked to death.

NOMINEE No. 8: [Unknown]: Poacher Marino Malerba shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging cliff and was killed instantly when the dead stag fell on him.

NOMINEE No. 9: [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]: Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering and explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, State Police said. Jerry Stromyer,24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party.

NOMINEE No. 10: [UPI, Portland, Oregon]: Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said an Oregon man, shot through the skull by a hunting arrow, is lucky to be alive and will be released soon. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye during an initiation into Mountain Men Anonymous, a men's rafting club in Grants Pass Oregon. A member tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye instead.

Doctors said that if the arrow had gone one millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been severed and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. John Delashaw said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of Roberts' skull, yet somehow, it managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that if Roberts had tried to pull the arrow out, he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Roberts said, "I feel so dumb about this."

NOMINEE No. 11: [The Calgary Sun (CP)]: A man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the groin, taking off his testicles and part of his penis. Police said the man was waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during a shouting match, but when he stuffed it back into his pants, the gun went off.

NOMINEE No. 12: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-digging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. A replacement fuse was not available, and Wallis noticed that a.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the Steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights began to operate and the two men proceeded eastbound toward White River bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on the bridge when Thurston shot himself or we might both be dead," stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me," said the reporting officer, Dovey Snyder. "I can't believe those two would admit how this accident happened." Upon being notified of the wreck, Poole's wife Lavinia asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone remember to get them from the truck.

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